If i come over, it means nothing
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
