see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
