I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think people are normalizing furries
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
