FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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