What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Please don't give away my fajitas
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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