yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
40s are totally the cure
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
