Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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