Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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