I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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