I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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