This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
