I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she told me i tasted like america
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
