they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
