Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
