This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
