I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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