pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once