She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?