i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
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He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.