I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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