I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
