either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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