i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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