yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
