Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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