You smell like a Billy Joel song
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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