No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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