How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
