i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I see more hoeing in ur future
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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