Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Green mimosas i think yes
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize