i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
