Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Randomize
