the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
