youre lurking in front of me
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
