she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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