I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
