I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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