forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
handjob tips. give me some.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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