Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
