By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Im part way to drunk.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
