I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
