Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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