I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
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It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
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