Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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