Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
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I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
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He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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