I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
