and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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