I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
