why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
