new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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