we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
