HIV tests are more positive than that guy
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
