Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
