as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
