dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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