Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
