When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
