You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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