hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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