I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
high people should be assigned attendants
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
