Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Less talking, more tequila
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
