I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
