Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
