STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
