why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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