We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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