my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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