Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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