did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
